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Curiosity, Control, and Transgender Children

I have four children. If I have learned anything from raising all of them, it's that there is very little I can control in their lives. Of course, I try to instill my values--a sense of civic duty, service to others, being kind. But the reality is that they are their...

From Trans Rights to a Romance Novel?

Believe it or not, it’s actually not that big of a leap to go from advocating for parents of transgender kids to writing a romantic medical suspense novel—well, not for me. While my passion for transgender rights is not waning by any stretch of the imagination,...

Children and Body Ownership

“It’s too late for the doctor to see you now. She has another meeting to go to. But we do feel bad that you came all this way.” The nurse said in her gentle tone carrying the slightest hint of accusation for being late. Or maybe I just imagined it. “We were going to...

We must stop shaming allies

It is no secret that we live in divided times. No matter what topic comes up, there is usually a very stark delineation between good and bad, right and wrong, us and them. You see it everywhere from Apple and Android to political parties. Sadly, you also see it within...

New Year, True You

It’s that time of year where we set good intentions, make resolutions, and are inundated by motivational quotes that push us to be our best selves. New Year, New You! Rah Rah! It’s also that time of year when we look back over the past year and measure our success...

The Chasm Between Tolerance and Support

One thing I know for sure, from living and working alongside humans for the last 48 years, is that we all just want to belong and know that we matter. All of us. Every creed, race, religion, gender identity, social class, sexual orientation, ability, and age. Knowing...

Gender Compassion

With International Women’s Day on the horizon, I am forced to have a deeper look at my self-identity as a fierce defender of women’s rights. Before my third child transitioned to a boy, I spoke of empowering women and gender equity until I was blue in the face. I...

How Can I Trust My Kid to Know?

As the mom of a transgender 13-year-old, this is the question I get the most from parents of LGBTQ children and youth. How can they trust that their child is right about their gender or sexual orientation? How can they tell if it’s just a phase? How can they trust...

My Kid Just Came Out… Now What?

Our children come out to us in various ways. Some of them declare their LGBTQ identity the same way they tell you what they ate for breakfast. It’s just a fact. This is how my oldest daughter announced she was bisexual. Some children, however, come out to us in more...