by tammy | Jun 12, 2023 | Blog, Featured, LGBTQ Advocacy, Parenting
Our home was filled with musicals instead of football and hockey games while my children were growing up. How much of that was influenced by my preference for a theatre seat over an arena? We’ll never know. The point is that for years I have been able to avoid the topic of trans kids in sports because my kids didn’t play in organized gendered leagues. I also avoided the subject because it’s complex, nuanced, and not easily brushed aside with a canned response. But the public discourse on whether transgender children should be allowed to play sports is too loud and insidious to ignore any longer. Here are my well-researched thoughts on transgender kids and sports.
The Benefits
First, I want to address the physical and mental health benefits for all children participating in a sport they love to play. Kids learn about teamwork, the life lessons of winning or losing with grace, self-confidence, goal setting, time management and having fun while developing motor skills. Not including transgender kids in sports purposefully removes these benefits from their lives. However, including trans children in sports offers benefits to their teammates too! It teaches them inclusion and encourages values of non-discrimination, and it broadens their perspectives and allows for the development of empathy. Co-ed recreational teams have existed for decades at all age levels breaking down gender stereotypes and fostering inclusivity, empowerment, and self-confidence.
A Little Dose of Reality
I learned early on with my theatre kids that not every child who takes acting classes goes on to star in a Hollywood movie and even fewer win an Oscar—despite thousands of moms thinking their baby is the cutest thing alive. But that doesn’t mean they can’t love the theatre and have fun with every play. The same applies to sports. Not all sports players are destined to be in professional leagues and the Olympics. We need to let kids be kids and play sports for fun, and those children don’t need strangers to medically examine them before chasing a ball down the pitch and getting excited about it going into a net, even if it’s their own. There is a danger to all children when gender policing could subject girls to invasive tests or accusations of being “too masculine” or “too good” at their sport to play or compete.
Clarifying Transgender Terms
A child who socially transitions and only changes their pronouns and gender expression before puberty is a very different situation than a youth or young adult going through puberty or a medical transition. Before puberty, and when on puberty blockers, the child is a hormonal blank slate. Discussing physical differences between boys and girls shouldn’t exist because there are no secondary sex characteristics in pre-pubescent children.
My transgender son is on testosterone and has facial hair, body hair, broad muscular shoulders and he regularly works out. According to many new rules regarding trans kids in sports, he would be forced to compete on a girl’s team. Suppose you believe that transgender people should compete according to their sex assigned at birth in order to “protect” female athletes against unfair advantages that a trans girl might have. Do you really want my 18-year-old son to compete while on testosterone against female athletes? No. Let’s be honest, this is way more about trans women than trans men and reinforces the patriarchy, policing women’s bodies and stereotypes that women are weak and in need of protection and can’t “play like a boy.”
The Veiled and Overt Discrimination
Before we go around claiming that allowing trans girls to play sports will change the entire face of athletic competition, it’s essential to understand the reality of transgender women when it comes to sports. Saying they have an advantage just because they are transgender overlooks what they actually go through. They face a lot of challenges that give them a tougher time in many other aspects of life. They deal with higher rates of bullying, anxiety, and depression, making it much harder to train and compete. On top of that, they often face issues like homelessness and poverty due to family rejection, and getting to a competitive level in every sport is a very expensive endeavour. It’s no wonder we see so few transgender athletes dominating college sports or medalling in the Olympics. It’s not as simple as saying they have a physical advantage (which is scientifically debunked); there’s a lot more to consider.
I will admit to having been lulled into the idea that maybe transgender athletes should have their own separate leagues like we’re back in the “separate but equal” days. Can you imagine? Apart from all the reasons I’ve already mentioned about why this is unnecessary and the fact that there never would be enough trans athletes to create entire leagues because they are 1% of the population instead of 50%, it’s just plain unfair. Look at women’s sports leagues as an example. Separate doesn’t mean equal at all! Female athletes constantly face fewer rewards, less media attention, and lower pay. (Which, I might argue, is why some are so reluctant to welcome transgender women in their competitions.) If we had a transgender sports league, you can bet it would be dealing with the same problems.
Ultimately, I encourage everyone to let trans kids be kids and play sports like every other child on the team they feel most comfortable with. When they grow and venture into competitive sports, I say the International Olympic Committee framework gives excellent guidelines to follow that politicians need not relitigate.
Download the ebook Defining Transgender here to stay in touch through my newsletter, and don’t forget to grab your copy of Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children.
by tammy | May 16, 2023 | Blog, LGBTQ Advocacy, Parenting
The Shrek movie played on repeat in our household when it was first released. If you’ve never seen the movie, during one scene, Shrek (an ogre) tries to explain to Donkey that he’s more than what people imagine about being an ogre. They happened to be walking through an onion field, so Shrek uses onions as a metaphor. Donkey, of course, doesn’t understand the similarity: “They smell? They make people cry?” So, Shrek erupts and exclaims that onions have layers and so do ogres. Trans children, like all humans (and animated film characters), also have layers and live full lives beyond their gender identity.
The Breadth of Trans Existence
Transgender kids are students—some with neurodiversity and some with giftedness. They might love reading and anxiously await the release of the newest book from their favourite author. Trans children enjoy extracurricular activities like martial arts, visual arts or acting and are currently practicing for the end-of-school performance. They’re daredevils on their BMX bikes, challenging themselves to new tracks. They’re gamers celebrating their latest level-up. They’re begging their parents for a dog and promising they’ll walk it every day.
Gender-diverse youth are learning to drive and interviewing for their first part-time summer job. They’re passing notes in class and laughing at jokes, and creating memories. They’re embarrassed by their parents and think they know more than them. They need to clean their rooms and eat their vegetables. They make mistakes, learn from them, and then make different mistakes. Life is so much more for them than their body parts and what clothes they wear.
Who is not letting kids be kids?
A repeated comment on my social media posts and one of the loudest rallying cries I hear from people who oppose trans children is to “let kids be kids.” I’d love to! Every day that I don’t have to validate my kids’ existence to someone spouting hateful rhetoric, I’m letting my kids be kids. Funnily enough, the people demanding to let kids be kids are the exact people who focus on children’s genitalia and sexuality without understanding what being transgender as a child truly means.
Defining Transgender: Transgender and nonbinary people have a gender identity (how they think of themselves) or gender expression (how they dress, talk, and act) that differs from the sex or gender they were assigned at birth. Trans children first undergo a fully reversible social transition to the degree of their choosing that consists of changing their wardrobe, pronouns, name, and hairstyle.
When kids are reduced to just one portion of their identity—in this case, their gender and expression—the option to just be kids has been taken away from them. Some are removing their right to play sports despite the physical and mental health benefits. What is more childlike than playing?
Trans kids are not seen by some in society as fully realized human beings because everyone is so focused on the debate around their right to exist.
I speak to other parents of transgender kids and teens on a regular basis, and I can tell you that we are all exhausted and exasperated from having to fight for our child’s right to be themselves. My transgender son and daughter are authentic, beautiful, giving, smart, and caring people who deserve to be seen as more than their body parts or who they will date one day. Think about what they could accomplish if transphobia was removed from the equation. Really, they’d do exactly the same things they have been doing, only without the hate.
Download the ebook Defining Transgender here to stay in touch through my newsletter, and don’t forget to grab your copy of Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children.
by tammy | Apr 25, 2023 | Blog, Featured, LGBTQ Advocacy, Parenting
The pandemic restrictions have lifted for the most part, and many of us are just itching for a change of scenery after three long years. As a result, some families are looking at traveling with a transgender child for the first time. I remember very well the first time our family travelled within Canada with our trans son six years ago and the stress of not knowing how he would be received going through airport security. We are just now planning our first trip out of the country and going through a list of details to consider. Here are some things to take into account before you head out on vacation.
Know Where You Won’t Be Safe
It is unfortunate, but there are still many countries and cities where being a transgender youth can be unsafe. These places may have laws or societal attitudes that are hostile towards the LGBTQIA+ community, or more specifically, transgender children under the age of majority. Some examples of hostile countries would be Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, Malaysia (read more of this list here), and even some states in the US that are working hard at passing bills that limit transgender rights. Even though those bills are valiantly being fought and opposed, you might face transphobic societal views if you choose to visit a place actively looking to limit where your child can use the bathroom or use gender-affirming medications. Here is a list of states that have created anti-trans legislation that you will want to keep in mind when choosing to vacation in America.
Going Through Airport Security
Going through airport security as a transgender person can be a daunting experience, particularly if the gender marker on your child’s ID or passport does not match their gender identity or expression. In such cases, it is important to know your rights and to be prepared to assert them if necessary. Airport security has guidelines in place to protect the privacy and dignity of transgender travelers in queer-friendly countries, which include offering the option of a pat-down instead of a full-body 3D scanner. Keep in mind it’s important to remain calm and assertive if you encounter any difficulties or discrimination during the security screening process and seek assistance from a supervisor or airport authority if needed. Of course, this means you will want to plan ahead to offer yourself enough time to go through any extra hoops. Here is a great article by the National Center for Transgender Equality on managing airport security.
Traveling With Meds
For transgender teens who are on cross-hormone therapy or other forms of medication, vacationing with these items can present unique challenges. It is important to check the laws and regulations of your destination state or country around taking gender-affirming hormones and the airline regarding the transportation of medications and needles. In general, it is recommended to carry medications and needles in their original packaging and to have a letter from your healthcare provider explaining the need for these items. We did this when we travelled with my son’s testosterone during our second cross-country flight. We’d had his legal name changed by then, which matched his appearance, and there were no questions asked. Better to have the letter and not need it than the other way around! Oh, and if your trans child wears prosthetics or other gender-affirming gear, you should also be aware of the regulations surrounding these items. It is advisable to pack any prosthetics or other gear in a carry-on bag to avoid damage or loss and to be prepared to explain the purpose of these items if necessary.
Resist the Urge to Ask Your Kid to Conform
I get it, it would be so much easier if your child could just be their assigned gender on the day you travel. Easier on you as a parent, that is—not on your child. Asking your kid to suck up their gender dysphoria for a day is not only unfair, but it can also be harmful to their mental and emotional well-being. For transgender people, being able to express their gender identity is crucial to their sense of self and overall happiness. Being forced to conform to societal norms or to hide their true selves can lead to feelings of shame, depression, and anxiety.
This does make life more complicated for us as parents of trans children in a world that isn’t always understanding. However, the burden of conforming to gender expectations should not fall on transgender youth but rather on society as a whole to create a more inclusive and accepting environment. While it may seem easier at the moment to ask a transgender child to suppress their identity, the long-term effects on their mental health and self-esteem can be significant.
Dealing With the Anxiety
Dealing with your transgender child’s anxiety in the airport can be a tough situation for both the child and the parent. Approach this situation with empathy, understanding, and a caring attitude, because your kiddo’s anxiety may also cause you stress. To help manage the anxiety, it’s helpful to take the time to listen to your child’s feelings and concerns and to provide a calm and supportive environment. By researching the airport’s policies and procedures ahead of time, you can help your child feel more prepared and reduce anxiety. Talk through how the day will unfold ahead of time and create some plans for hiccups along the way. With a loving and understanding approach, you can help your transgender child navigate the airport with confidence and ease.
To recap, choose a safe destination, plan ahead, give yourself extra time and support and affirm your transgender child’s gender identity, especially when traveling, in order to ensure that they feel safe and comfortable being themselves. Then, enjoy a relaxing holiday and make wonderful memories!
Download the ebook Defining Transgender here to stay in touch through my newsletter, and don’t forget to grab your copy of Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children.
by tammy | Feb 22, 2023 | Blog, LGBTQ Advocacy, Parenting
I wonder how many of us can say we just woke up one morning as a minority. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of minority groups is race (thanks to white privilege); people are born with their skin color. Disabilities can come on quite suddenly and affect someone for the rest of their lives, but again thanks to my privilege, I never considered their perspectives. That was until I experienced my own minority stress.
Yes, me, the white, cisgender, hetero-presenting, able-bodied, neurotypical, middle-class, educated woman. Discrimination was a cold bucket of water on my face. I can only imagine the reality of being BIPOC, disabled or transgender.
My discrimination wake-up call
Initially, the stress showed up in little moments. For example, letting the receptionist at the dentist’s office know to use a new name and pronoun and not knowing if I would be met with an eye roll or more questions than I had answers for at the time. These tiny drops of stress could be managed individually, but I soon realized they added up as I went about life in our small conservative city.
Then I was hit with a much bigger wave of anxiety. I was brand new to volunteering for our local Pride association and put my hand up to attend a workshop on grant applications for local non-profits. Seeing as I knew nothing about the topic, I looked forward to the evening. Armed with my notebook and a new pen, I walked into a room with a dozen tables and small groups forming at each one. My friend from Pride joined, and we sat near the front of the room. Once the class started, the leader asked us to go around and introduce ourselves and what organization we represented. As I watched the other groups speak, I noticed a trend, many older people seemingly volunteering in their retirement years. We were the youngest and the only ones with a progressive organization. This would be the first time I said out loud to a group of strangers that I was with the queer community. Despite my decades of experience with public speaking, my heart raced, and my mouth went dry.
What is Minority Stress?
Minority stress refers to the additional stress experienced by individuals who belong to a minority group, such as a racial or sexual minority. This stress can come from various sources, including discrimination, prejudice, and social inequality. Studies have shown that minority stress can negatively affect mental and physical health, increasing the risk of certain health conditions.
Can a white woman face discrimination?
Yes, an otherwise privileged person can experience minority stress when raising a transgender child. I have lived it first-hand. Even if someone is privileged in other ways, such as being white, cisgender, and economically stable, they may still face hateful comments and targeted discrimination based on their child’s gender identity or expression.
Why we need to Talk About This
Our children will also face minority stress just as we do as parents. But, of course, we try our best to shield our kids—which is why I did most of the coming out in professional settings before introducing my child. So it’s important to know what we’re dealing with and how to bounce back ourselves and how to support our children. Minority stress can have a range of negative effects, such as an increased risk of mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD, substance abuse and addiction, suicide and suicide ideation, cardiovascular disease and other physical health problems, developing chronic conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure, and of poor sleep quality, which can lead to poor physical and mental health outcomes.
That’s not a very rosy picture now, is it?
What parents can do
It’s essential to seek professional help if you or someone you know is experiencing trauma or mental or physical illness symptoms. A mental health professional can help you understand your symptoms and develop a plan for coping and healing. It’s also important to seek out a provider who is sensitive and knowledgeable about the specific needs of transgender individuals and families and willing to work with you to ensure that you receive appropriate and affirming care. And, though I might sound like a broken record on this, practice self-care. This is our lives now, and we need to train for a marathon of advocacy, not only a sprint. There is still a lot of work ahead, so find a way to manage your stress long-term.
What can allies do
Recognize that others might be fighting a battle you cannot see. Take the time to educate yourself about the challenges faced by Transgender people and their affirming families. Listen to their stories and experiences and offer support. This can include providing emotional support, helping them to access resources and services, and advocating for their needs. Challenge your own biases by actively working to become more aware of how your actions and words may contribute to minority stress experienced by gender-diverse people and their families. And finally, stand up for trans rights and help to create a safe and inclusive environment, including policy change at the local, state/provincial, and national levels. By definition, minority groups are too small to make sweeping electoral changes—they need allies to fight for their rights.
In the end, if you have ever felt anxiety or stress around raising a transgender child, you are not alone, and your feelings are entirely valid. Seek support and practice self-care. You want to be your best self as you support your child on this unique and rewarding journey.
Download the ebook Defining Transgender here to stay in touch through my newsletter and don’t forget to grab your copy of Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children.
by tammy | Feb 7, 2023 | Blog, LGBTQ Advocacy, Parenting
Trust me, one doesn’t get to write the essential guide for parents of trans children and avoid the misinformed rhetoric from keyboard warriors on the internet. Some comments I’ve received are clearly dog whistles and a rallying cry for hate, while others seem to beg for clarification. So, I figured I could debunk the top five myths that get shared about transgender youth in one post and maybe enlighten a few people who are open-minded enough to read this entire blog.
1. Sexualizing Transgender Kids
The sexualization of children refers to the inappropriate portrayal of children as sexual objects or the imposition of adult sexual norms and desires onto children. This narrative comes from conflating sexual orientation with gender identity. Transgender individuals have a gender identity that does not match the sex they were assigned at birth; it’s not related to their sexual orientation or sexual behaviour. Being transgender is not a form of sexual deviance; it’s a natural and valid aspect of human identity. Sexualizing transgender people, especially youth, is harmful and reinforces harmful societal norms. It objectifies transgender individuals and reduces them to sexual objects rather than treating them with respect and dignity as whole individuals.
When certain people in society reduce transgender kids, or any youth for that matter, as sexual subjects according to their body parts, it has a lasting harmful impact. These harms include damaged self-esteem and body image, prematurely exposing children to adult sexual norms, reducing them to sexual objects rather than treating them with respect and dignity, normalizing harmful behaviours such as sexual violence, exploitation, and harassment, and finally, reinforcing harmful gender stereotypes, such as portraying girls as passive and submissive and boys as aggressive and dominant.
2. Trans Children are too young to know who they are
The myth that trans kids are too young to know their gender identity is based on a misunderstanding of gender identity and its development. Gender identity refers to a person’s deeply held sense of their gender. This sense begins to develop in toddlers and preschoolers and solidifies at various ages for different people after that. Research has shown that transgender individuals can know their gender identity from a very young age, and it is consistent and persistent over time.
Gender identity is a complex and individual experience, and people of all ages can know and understand their own gender identity. No magical knowing happens when a person turns 18 years old. It is crucial to provide a supportive and affirming environment for all individuals, including children, to explore and understand their gender identity in a safe and healthy way.
3. Trans kids are following the group
The myth that being transgender is a social contagion suggests that transgender identities are spread through social influence rather than an inherent aspect of a person’s identity. This idea is not supported by scientific evidence and is a harmful and stigmatizing belief. Transgender people have existed throughout history and across cultures, and their experiences and identities are not a trend or a fad. The reason more people are sharing their gender diversity is the same reason we are hearing of more people diagnosed with ADHD—more awareness and better testing.
The idea that being exposed to transgender people or information about gender diversity would “contagiously” make someone transgender is ridiculous. However, it’s also important to note that the idea of a “social contagion” is being used to justify discrimination and marginalization of transgender children and used to prevent them from accessing vital resources and support, such as healthcare and mental health support.
4. Transgender children are confused
Transgender children, like all individuals, have the right to self-determine their gender identity. They are usually very sure about not aligning with the gender they were assigned at birth and have a strong sense of self. They may take time to explore their gender identity, try on different names or gender expressions, and make decisions about their transition, but this doesn’t mean they are confused or uncertain about what feels right to them.
Whether socially, or medically for older youth, transitioning is a personal and complex journey involving various steps. Each stage has its own set of considerations and can take time. It’s a process that requires careful thought, planning and support. It’s also important to note that not all transgender children will choose to transition in the same way or to the same degree, and that’s okay. Gender identity is not a choice. It’s not a decision a person makes one day. Being transgender is not a phase. Gender identity and expression can be complex and fluid, and not everyone fits into a binary gender system. People may identify as non-binary, genderfluid, or agender, and some individuals may not need a medical transition. Gender identity is a deeply ingrained and stable aspect of a person’s identity.
5. Parents are making their kids transgender
The myth that parents are making their children transgender suggests that transgender identity can be imposed or induced by outside influences, such as parents or friend groups, rather than being an inherent aspect of a person’s identity. This is not true.
As I’ve mentioned, gender identity is a deeply ingrained and stable aspect of a person’s identity. The idea that parents can make their children transgender is not supported by scientific research and is considered a harmful and stigmatizing belief. Transgender children are often aware of their gender identity from a very young age and may express discomfort or distress with the gender they were assigned at birth. Parents and caregivers do play an essential role in supporting and affirming their child’s gender identity to relieve that discomfort and distress. But the idea that parents are “making” their children transgender is often used to blame and stigmatize them, preventing them from accessing the support and resources they need to understand and support their child.
I know I am biased when I think that my transgender children are phenomenal human beings, but the truth is that through my work and volunteering in the community, I have met many amazing trans kids. They are bright, creative, kind and the most self-aware people you might ever meet. I dare you to get away from the negative online narratives and see the humanity within transgender children.
Download the ebook Defining Transgender here to stay in touch through my newsletter and don’t forget to grab your copy of Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children.
by tammy | Jan 31, 2023 | Blog, Featured, LGBTQ Advocacy, Parenting
Long story short, raising a transgender youth is expensive. Whether it’s affirming your child with a social transition, addressing your child and your mental health, or later on supporting your youth or young adult with medical care, the costs quickly add up.
I purposefully chose not to dive too deep into this topic when I wrote the book Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children for two main reasons. First, I didn’t want to discourage parents from affirming and supporting their gender-diverse youth. While this can be an expensive journey, there are supports available. Also, I wanted the book to focus on that initial stage of social transition, and this blog will take a deeper look past those first 100 days.
Social Transition Costs
Socially transitioning refers to the process of publicly presenting as a gender that is different from the one assigned at birth. It involves changing one’s name, pronouns, clothing, hairstyle, and other aspects of their appearance to align with their true gender identity.
Here are some items that you as a parent or caregiver may need to purchase to support your child socially transitioning:
Clothing, hair care and grooming products, makeup, and voice training: Depending on the youth’s gender identity, they may need to purchase new clothing and accessories that align with their preferred gender expression. They may want to dress, groom, or speak more femininely, masculinely or androgynously.
Legal name change and ID documentation: Some youth may choose to change their name legally, which can involve court fees and other legal document expenses. You may also need to register for new ID documentation, such as a driver’s license, birth certificate or passport that reflects your child’s new name and gender marker.
Gender-affirming gear, such as packers or breast forms, are prosthetic devices that can be worn in underwear to give the appearance of a bulge. They can be made of silicone or other materials and come in various sizes and shapes. Stand-to-pee devices allow trans masculine people to stand and urinate. Gaffs are undergarments that can be worn to flatten the genitals, and binders are compression garments to help flatten the chest or create a more masculine or androgynous shape.
The cost of socially transitioning can vary greatly depending on the youth’s needs and your financial resources. Some people may need to purchase all of these items, while others may not need to buy any of them. The tricky part for a parent is to be able to budget wisely because buying everything at once may not always be possible.
Mental health support
In my blog on finding a gender-affirming psychologist, I cover that not every trans person needs a therapist. But if there is a need, the cost of seeing a psychologist can vary greatly depending on several factors, such as where you live, your insurance coverage, and the specific type of services you seek.
Generally, the cost of seeing a psychologist can range from around $75 to $250 per hour. Some psychologists charge a flat rate for each session, while others charge according to a sliding scale based on the client’s income.
It’s also worth noting that while seeing a psychologist can be expensive, it can also be a valuable investment in one’s mental health and well-being. In some cases where there is a co-occurrence of a severe mental illness, mental health is essential and not optional. Therefore, it’s important to consider the potential benefits of therapy when evaluating the costs.
Medical care
I could write an entire book on what it’s like to parent a child through a medical transition (and I’m strongly considering it), so I will briefly explain it here. Access to health care varies widely according to the country and province or state you live in. They can include hormone blockers, puberty blockers, cross hormones, hormonal replacement therapy, and surgical procedures on the face, chest, genitals and more. (Quick side note for any misinformed doubters: surgery is not performed on 8-year-olds! There are scientific international standards of care.)
Generally, medical interventions are typically covered by Canadian public healthcare and private health insurance when prescribed as part of a gender-affirming therapy plan. However, out-of-pocket costs can still be high, particularly if a person does not have insurance coverage or if their insurance has a high deductible. An American coaching client of mine shared with me just last week that for her insurer hormone blockers are billed at 8 times the rate when the child is under 18 compared to over 18! And the medication is four times the cost in the US compared to Canada. Mindblowing. Therefore, it’s advisable to check with your healthcare provider and insurance provider for specific cost information and to explore options for financial assistance if needed.
Here are a few examples of extra medical costs that your provincial health care or insurance won’t cover. Some families may need to travel to a different location for medical interventions, which can include expenses for transportation, lodging, and meals. You may need to take time off work before and after, which can result in lost wages or income. Also, you may need to arrange for childcare or eldercare during medical appointments, especially if travelling. Finally, deductibles or choosing providers who your insurance company does not cover will also result in paying out of pocket.
Self-care for parents
I am a massive advocate for a parent to prioritize their respite and self-care. I wrote a blog here with several ideas of how you can fuel your resilience to stay the course. Some ideas are reasonable, such as taking a bath or walking in nature, while others are more costly.
If you need a mentor coach for a personalized plan, a therapist to work through childhood trauma, or a couple’s therapist to avoid an even more costly divorce, please work caring for yourself into your budget for caring for your child. This is an enriching journey this raising transgender youth. The sense of pride and joy and connection and authenticity is beyond measure. But we must make it through the stressful parts first, which can only be accomplished if we put on our oxygen masks as parents.
Many of these financial realities are unavoidable and can vary according to your family’s resources and your trans youth’s needs. My best advice is to go into affirming your trans child as an informed parent or caregiver with a clear plan of action, including a workable budget.
Download the ebook Defining Transgender here to stay in touch through my newsletter and don’t forget to grab your copy of Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children.
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